Articles

Working With Couples

06/02/2017

Most of the time as a live in carer, you will be working with one person, but sometimes you will find that you get to work for a couple. it may be that one of the couple needs more attention, while the other just needs minimal care. It is quite normal for this to be a situation where there is only one carer. Only if the work load gets too great, will it increase to two carers.

Every couple is different in their needs, and also in their little quirks!

Consider jealousy: if you and the husband appear to be too close and chatty, you may very well find yourself with a jealous wife. She may have Dementia or anything else, but she knows what is going on, and you do not want to incur the wrath of that! Even though you are caring primarily for her, she has the power to make your life there very miserable. It is a good idea to keep your distance from the person of the opposite sex, dress circumspectly and not be alone together more than you need to be.

Consider dress: pay attention to your dress. Short skirts and low cut tops are out! never think that your male client is too old to make advances, because you will find out the hard way that they are more than capable of doing this! You may think it is amusing, but they may have serious designs on you if you dress in a promiscuous manner.

Remember the primary client: this is the client that you are going to spend more time with. The one who requires more attention. Be sure to cook meals around that person. It is no good cooking steak when the person you are primarily taking care of, needs everything soft and finely cut up. Outings should take that person into consideration first. Do they sit in the front of the car because it is easier to climb into? Should you be selective about places to go because they cannot walk as far as their spouse? For anything that you plan and do, you should take into consideration the weaker person in the couple.

Be considerate about private time: it is worth remembering that your couple has probably been married about fifty or more years! They are used to the other person being around. They are also used to sitting together in the evening on the sofa, even if one of them falls asleep right away. They are used to seeing each other in the house, so leave them to their little quirks. He pours a glass of wine for her before supper, even though she has long since stopped drinking it. It's his routine, leave him to it. He will stop when he is ready. She knows that he likes his butter cold and hard from the fridge on his morning toast, so keep it that way.

Every couple has their own foibles and it is important that they are allowed to keep them. This is the way they retain their individual identity as well as that of the couple they have been for so many years. Also, remember that this is a comfort to them, knowing that the other one is still there. Be sympathetic to their privacy and their needs, and you will find your stay with a couple a very special time.